This page is currently being reviewed before being incorporated into the Survival Guide

Online friendships

Online friendships are becoming as common as pen-pals used to be. Almost everyone who regularly uses the internet has weblogs, chat rooms or bulletin boards they regularly visit, where people with similar interests meet, talk, and form online friendships.

There's nothing weird or strange about this. Just like the pubs and cafes in your home town, these are places where you can chat, have fun and meet new people.

But, just like in real life, you need to be careful where you go, what you do, and who you do it with. Though most people online are just chatting and having fun, a few are criminals looking for people to abuse or rob. More about keeping safe on the internet.

Though it's important that you understand the risks, the truth is that you're far more likely to be annoyed than abused in a chat room.

Reasons not to worry about it

In fact, there are a lot of advantages to having online friends:

• Safe You can meet strangers from the safety of your own bedroom, enjoy an interesting relationship without risks and inconveniences, and (of course) cybersex is safe sex; you can't get pregnant, or catch a sexually transmitted disease (though you may find it emotionally exhausting).
• Fun Chatting and socialising with other people is fun. Logging into a favourite chatroom can be a great boost if you're feeling low, help you recover from a miserable day or be a nice reward after you've done your homework.
• Varied The Internet contains lots of different people from varied backgrounds and cultures. Socialise with people from Singapore, chat to folk in Cameroon, post to a friend in Poland. It's a great way to learn more about the world.
• Interesting Are all the people at school talking about stuff you're not interested in? Do you despair of finding someone like you? The Internet is a lifeline for many young people who feel lonely or isolated, because they can't find people like them at home or school.

Nobody really knows yet what a "normal" amount of time to spend on the Internet is, because it's so new. It's up to you to decide when you're spending too much time on the internet.

When online friendships go bad

But, just like in real life, things can go badly wrong with online friendships. This isn't just about falling out and having fights. Because you're socialising with someone you have never met in real life, there are special problems.

• People lie Lots of people lie a little bit online, and some people lie a lot, for all sorts of reasons. Someone might lie about their age, whether they're a boy or a girl, their personal situation or feelings. It can be very hurtful when you find out, though most people don't mean much by it; they were just being less serious about the friendship than you were.
• Fights When someone gets angry with you online, they can really make you feel it. They can attack your computer, try to steal your identity, or bombard you with messages and emails that are hard to block out. The rules for avoiding online trouble is the same as for real life; ignore them, walk away (ie. log off), don't get pulled into fights.
• Taking it all too seriously Most people online are just chatting and having fun, they're not having deep, meaningful, life-changing experiences. If you are, and especially if most of your happiness is dependent on online relationships, you need to take a hard look at your online/offline life balance.
• Personal information can be used to hurt you Giving out personal information means people can find you. Personal information includes your email address, real name, address, photo, the name of the school you go to, the name of your parents. Be careful with information about other people, too. Never be careless about this. You (or someone else) could end up burgled, stalked, or even abducted .

Though it's important to keep a cool head (no-one's going to thank you for reporting someone for being annoying) if someone starts to bully you, or tries to trick you into revealing personal information, you'll be doing everyone a favour by letting the website organiser or chat moderator know.

If it gets uncomfortable, stop. This may seem really obvious, but it can be hard to remember. You're in control; if someone's chat (including your own) is making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy or stressed, log off, even if it's just for a break; you can always get back to it later.

Meeting an online friend in real life

Relationships you make online feel very real, but you are only seeing part of the person. The part they show on the Internet may be very different from how they behave in real life. They may also have lied about themselves to keep you interested or gain your trust. They may even be intending to hurt or abduct you.

If you do decide to meet an online friend in real life, it is ABSOLUTELY VITAL that you go to the meeting with a friendly, responsible adult. If they really want to be your friend, they won't mind meeting you when other people are around.

In fact, it should make them more comfortable; after all, all they know about you is what you've told them. More about keeping safe on the internet.