Could you survive on your own?

Here are just some of the essential life skills you need to live independently:

• Having a regular income
• Know how to find a place to live
• Being able to meet daily survival needs such as cooking, paying bills and getting from place to place
• Understanding how to keep yourself and your home clean and safe
• Being able to manage your time, energy and money
• Being able to recognise physical symptoms requiring medical
  attention, and knowing how to get it
• Acting responsibly in work, community and leisure relationships
• Knowing how to get information and support
• Willing to buy toothpaste, rubbish bags, washing powder, loo roll and tea instead of a lippie or CD

If you have a regular income and 6 or 7 of the other skills you could probably make it. Otherwise the odds are against you. The Young People’s Survival Guide can help you start developing these skills. Many adults would be happy to teach you what they’ve learned.

Experience: bringing up your child at home

I love living at home because my parents are really supportive. They helped me through my pregnancy and still continue to help me now. I feel secure living with them. If I were to move out alone with my son I would feel intimidated, vulnerable and insecure. – Rachel, 16, Walford

Legal issues

Under 16: You cannot leave home and a parent or carer can’t make you leave.

Age 16/17: You cannot leave home or care without permission but if you do the police may not take you back. Your parents are responsible for you to age 18. If they don’t look after you properly, social and health care and the local housing authority may help. You may be able to claim benefits, or receive help from social and health care if you have a care history. If you are in care and run away the police will bring you back. Social and health care (formerly social services) will call a meeting to find out why you left home without permission and try to find a solution.

Age 18: You can leave home without parental consent. You can hold a tenancy and buy a house or flat. You can also remain with your carers if they agree.

So you want out?

Alison Levin, Preventative Measures Project Worker at Banbury Young Homelessness Project (BYHP), sees lots of young people who want to leave home."‘They turn 16 and think, 'I’m fed up with mum and dad. I want a place of my own.' The reality is that living independently involves things most young people don’t even imagine," she says. "Unless they are in danger, I can’t think of many reasons why a young person would not be better off staying at home."

Some harsh realities:

• The local authority will not house under 16s.
• The local authority will not give 16 or 17 year olds a council tenancy.
  

This leaves two options: temporary accommodation and supported housing.

• Temporary accommodation is usually a B&B or shared house in Oxford. Don’t expect the comforts of home.
• Do expect strict rules and regulations. You may not be able to have visitors or remain in your room from 9am to 3pm.
• If you use drugs or alcohol you will be asked to leave. Do it again and the council will no longer be responsible for housing you because you are intentionally homeless.

"For those young people who really need to leave home, help and support is available," stresses Alison. "However, if it’s a question of boundaries, you are better off addressing it at home. Issues like playing your music at full volume, turning up stoned at 3am or having half a dozen mates around will cause conflict in a B&B or shared house just as they do at home."

In danger

If you are in danger at home or feel that you must leave regardless of the difficulties, you don’t have to do it on your own.

Find out what you can do in Protection from violence and abuse, in the law section.