Abuse is when someone does bad things to someone else over a period of time. There are different kinds of abuse:

1. Physical Abuse includes hurting someone by hitting, kicking, punching, burning, stabbing, and so on. In the worst cases it can end up with someone being killed. It also includes locking a person in a room or tying them up.
2. Neglect ignores your needs, such as for food, warmth, medical care and emotional well-being. Young people experiencing neglect can suffer very bad health and emotional problems.
3. Sexual Abuse includes forcing someone to do sexual things they don't want to, forcing them to have sex (rape) or making them look at other people doing sexual things, or at pornography. It also includes taking photos of someone in a sexual situation
4. Emotional Abuse includes making someone feel worthless through being nasty to them. This might include humiliation, constant criticism, withholding love and affection, calling them names, not letting them see their friends, controlling what they wear and threatening to hurt their children, friends or pets.
5. Financial Abuse includes taking away the other person's money, not letting them work, unreasonably controlling what and how they spend their money, not allowing them to have money of their own.

Young people from all kinds of homes and all kinds of families are abused, usually by people they know. Abuse is very damaging and usually gets worse over time. If you are being abused, you must get help as soon as possible.

• Key Link: www.childline.org.uk

Getting help

Telling someone about abuse is very difficult. You may feel ashamed, embarrassed, or worry that people will think it's your fault. You may be worried that the abuser may get into trouble, or that you will be taken into care.

It is also normal for abusers to make threats about what will happen if you tell anyone, e.g.

• They will hurt you or someone you love
• The police will arrest you both
• They will hurt or kill themselves

The longer abuse goes on, the more damage it does, and the harder it is to stop. You must tell someone you trust as soon as possible. This could be another relative, or your local Youth Worker or Connexions Worker. If things are very bad, it might even be the police. Talking to a helpline first can help you with knowing what to say. Write it down if you can't face talking about it.

If you are being hurt or harmed at home, lots of people have a legal responsibility to help you. But you must ask for help, as abuse that seems obvious to you may be invisible to others.

• Key link: www.childline.org.uk

What happens when you tell someone?

When you ask for help, your case is put forward for investigation by Social and Health Care. A social worker will then contact you, and try to find out what help you want, and also tell you what they can provide. If you want to stay at home, Social and Health Care will try to make it safe for you to do so. The abuser will have to get some help to stop the abuse but he or she will not necessarily be arrested.

Childline and NSPCC can help you work out who to tell and put you in touch with helpful organisations. You can ring them free from any phone, even a call box. Whatever you tell them will be kept confidential.

• Key link: NSPCC

Protection from violence

If you are being hurt at home, someone is breaking the law. But that doesn't have to mean that you will be taken away from your family. This will not happen unless you are in danger.

Find out more in Protection from violence and abuse, in the law section.