We all need friends. They cheer us up. They’re fun to be with. If they’re good friends they tell us the truth when we’re doing well. And when we aren’t. Caroline Bates asked young people at Banbury School what they wanted in a friend:
What do you want in a friend? Use your head, heart and gut to choose wisely.
Posted: 18.59
> There is a girl in school no one likes. They’ll do
anything to make her cry. One day we were at
lunch and she spilled her drink. I made a loud
comment about how she wet herself. Everyone
laughed but when I saw the look on her face I felt
really ashamed. I feel that I gave into peer
pressure.
Posted: 19.05
>Well..I would say ‘Sorry’. Maybe be her
friend.. maybe one friend could make all the
difference. Peer pressure is hard to overcome but
frankly if you notice yourself falling into it over and
over maybe you need new friends.
Posted: 19.07
>Never fall into the bottomless pit that is society
and its pressures. Think for yourself, don't let
others think for you or you will become a
brainwashed sheep.
Posted: 19.12
>1: think of who you are and what you're doing. is it
really worth to humiliate someone's life.
2: shut up
and stop acting like an idiot.
Posted: 19.16
I think about life like this – you’re either
independent or co-dependent. Peer pressure is a
form of being co-dependent. For example..you did
that because everyone else was making fun of this
girl, so you thought you'd perhaps fit in or
something of that sort. Instead of doing what your
friends or peers are doing try going a different way.
Who knows... you could change things.
Finding someone you fancy can be exciting, but
don't be surprised if there are complications. You
may worry about getting rejected. Your friends
may tease you. One of your friends may even want
to go out with the same person! Don't let these
things hold you back. Learning how to juggle
friendships and relationships is part of growing up.
If going out turns into a relationship it can be
rewarding. It's great to trust and feel safe with a
person outside your family. There is loads to enjoy
in doing things together and in becoming close.
Physical closeness is an important part of some
young people's relationships. But just because
you're going out it doesn't mean you have to have
sex. If you do decide to have sex, make sure it's
safer sex.
Some people have lots of relationships. Some
people have a few or one long one. Some people
don't want a close relationship at certain times in
their life.
What makes a boy or girl attractive? Young people from the African Caribbean Youth Project in Oxford and St Birinus School in Didcot told the Survival Guide that they want. Someone who . . .
Heterosexuals love and are sexually
attracted to the opposite sex. Gay
men and lesbian women love and are
attracted to people of the same sex.
Bisexuals are attracted to people of
either sex. They all go through the
same ups and downs in their
relationships. They all deserve
acceptance and respect.
In my experience, whether you're gay, straight or bisexual the most important element in a relationship is trust. When you can trust your partner unconditionally you know you have found the perfect person for you. But that trust must be earned and built up over time, I've discovered. As a young, gay male i trusted my boyfriend unconditionally within a very short space of time. I ended up being very hurt and quite an emotional wreck, admittedly. I now have a completely new outlook on the dating and relationship scene. I'm very happy with a new partner who i'm slowly building back my confidence with. I've learned that the build-up of trust is just as important as trusting itself. Daniel, 17, Bicester
Need some offline reference? Print out this list of useful relationships local contacts for Oxfordshire Access information, find friends; do you know about your local youth centres and projects?
Get involved, get inspired; there are lots of different ways to have your say...
Know of any resources or projects not listed here? Stories to tell, successes to report? let us know...
