Having a baby?

If you decide to have a baby, you need to get the best advice right away. There are lots of things you need to consider, e.g.

• Health, for you and baby
• Rights and benefits
• Staying at school, continuing your learning

Tell your GP (Doctor) you are pregnant as soon as possible. He will tell you who your midwife is. Your midwife will provide information and advice especially for young parents. Your midwife will give you lots of information and answer your questions while you are pregnant, and until baby is 6 months old.

You can also ask about support at your local Connexions Office or Youth Centre and also from the Teenage Pregnancy and Sexual Health Team. They are specialist workers who can support you, and a special guide for young parents.

Crucial: If you are worried about something, talk to your midwife or health visitor, teenage pregnancy support worker, Connexions PA or other worker.

Young Parents Groups and Childrens Centres

There are parents groups throughout Oxfordshire which welcome younger parents. There are also groups especially for young parents. Why join a group?

• Socialise, meet people and do fun things
• Find out about services and support
• Talk about pressures and problems

You can find out about young parents groups from your local Childrens Centre. Oxfordshire's Childrens Centres offer information and services to all parents.

• Key Link: Find your local Childrens Centre in Oxfordshire

Getting the support you need

If you become ill or overstressed, it's bad for you and baby. You need to look after yourself:

• Get plenty of sleep and relax
• Eat the right things
• Follow health advice

Even if you do this, you will still have difficult times. You need to think of who can help. As well as relatives, your partner, your college, etc. there are also people whose job it is to help you, like your midwife or health visitor, teenage pregnancy support worker, Connexions PA or other worker.

Having a baby is hard work, everyone needs help and support, and everyone needs a break from baby sometimes. You can find out about things like childcare, nurseries and toddler groups from the Oxfordshire Family Information Service.

• Key Link: Oxfordshire Family Information Service

Looking after baby

Caring for a baby is a full time job, and you need lots of special skills to do it well. You can get advice and information from lots of places:

• Your midwife or health visitor
• Other mums and workers at parents groups
• Books, guides and the internet

If you are finding it difficult to make sense of all the different advice and information you are getting, talk to your midwife or health visitor. They can get you special guides for young parents. These give you important information about what is right for you and baby.

Crucial: Know who you need to call in a health emergency. Your GP, your midwife, NHS Direct.

Relationships

All parents need good relationships with the people involved in bringing up baby. This might include:

• Baby's father
• Grandparents
• Your partner

Having a baby is stressful and difficult, and having some arguments is normal. But it's important to recognise when things have gone wrong.

Domestic abuse is bad for you and your baby. Do you think you might be in an abusive relationship?

Crucial: if it isn't working, you must make some serious decisions. Don't suffer in silence.

Finding it hard to meet other young parents?

If getting out and about isn't easy, there are lots of young parents online you can chat to. If you're a member of Bebo, Facebook, or any other online community, see what groups there are for young mums and dads. There are also special sites for Mums and Dads. Give it a go, you might end up making new friends!

Here are some places to get started:

• Mumsnet
• Justparents
• Netmums
• UK Parents Lounge
• Dad can do

Experience: planned pregnancy

I had been going out with my boyfriend on and off for 7 years. At 18 and after all those years it seemed like the right time to have a baby. I came from a quite big family and i wanted to have my children young like my mum. Although I think I am a great mum, it does get lonely and isolating unless you make sure that you get out and about. I wish I had waited and got more qualifications and training first. – age 19

Key Resource: The I'm Going to Have a Baby! guide

The I'm Going to Have a Baby! guide is for young mothers and provides a step-by-step guide to support young mothers and the people who support them. There's also a guide especially for young fathers, called I'm going to have a baby too! They're full of useful contacts and information. Get a copy of the guide from your midwife, Connexions Adviser, Key Worker, or the Teenage Pregnancy and Sexual Health Team