Sexuality and sexual identity

Gay men and lesbian women love and are attracted to people of the same sex. Bisexuals are attracted to people of either sex.

Some people know they are gay, just as some people know that they are straight. Others may find that who they are attracted to changes as they grow older, or when they meet new people. Being unsure about who you are attracted to is very common.

Transgender people may be attracted to either sex, but they are not comfortable with their gender (whether they are a man or a woman). They may partly or completely change their gender.

It is estimated that about 10% of people are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

Help! I think I might be gay

If you're worried about your own sexuality, you can get help and support locally.

Wayout is a group for young people who either already know they are lesbian, gay, transgender or bisexual, or who think they might be. It is totally confidential, you won't be put under any pressure, and a Wayout youth worker will talk to you beforehand and introduce you to the group. You can stop coming at any time.

Groups meet regularly, and provide a place for young LGBT people to meet, talk and hang out. They are run by a lesbian and a gay male worker. As well as the regular social group, they also organise events such as punting, ice-skating, bowling, picnics and sport.

• To find out more, call the Terrence Higgins Trust on 01865 243389 9.30am-5.30pm or email info.oxford@tht.org.uk and ask about Wayout

Help! People say I'm gay

If you are a young person who is being bullied because you are gay, or because other people think you are gay, you are not alone. 97% of young gay people report that they regularly hear insulting homophobic remarks at school. (Source: Stonewall, Education for all)

It may be hard to tell parents or teachers that you are being bullied because people think or say you are gay. But it is important not to let bullies get away with homophobic bullying, just because it's difficult to report. Remember:

• Any conversation you have should be about their bullying, not your sexuality
• Homophobic bullying is just as unacceptable as any other sort of bullying
• Why you are being bullied is not important, stopping the bullying is what matters

Key Link: Bullying

Sex and safer sex

The age of consent for gay men in the UK is 16, the same as for heterosexual couples. If a woman has sex with a girl under 16 she can also be prosecuted, under different laws.

Some people feel this is too young to decide that you are gay. Some people believe that you should not have gay sex at all. Some religions insist on this. This may include your friends, your parents, and your religion.

If you do decide to have sex, you still need to practice safer sex. Homosexual couples don't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy, but still risk transmitting or catching HIV infection and other STIs.

Key link: Sexual Health

Experience: coping with isolation

Being gay can be quite isolating. I don't live in a big cosmopolitan city, I didn't know anyone else who was, or thought they were gay. Realising there are groups of young gay people, for young gay people, feels really good. You know you're not alone. You know you're going through what they're going through. You know all you have to do is pop along one day and meet them all in total confidentiality, whether you're out or not. No-one's going to phone home, no-one's going to demand your name. There's no pressure to attend and if you live far away, they even pay your travel costs so your parents don't know. I found it really helped. Just making new friends, meeting new people and better than that, it meant I could start being me and doing things I'd always wanted to. It gave me a safe place to go just 'be' gay, however ridiculous that sounds. Once a week, you can forget stressing about fancying Ally McBeal, Tom Cruise, or both. - Anon, Way Out