If you miss a period

If a woman misses a period, she may be pregnant. A pregnancy test will tell you for sure. You can buy pregnancy tests, but lots of people choose to get a free test, which are available from:

• Your GP (Doctor)
• Your local Contraception & Sexual Health Clinic
• Bodyzone
• Some youth workers.

It is normal to feel anxious and worried if you think you might be pregnant. But you need to know whether you are or not as soon as possible. The sooner you find out the better, so get tested.

Action: Feel you can't talk to anyone? Call the Brook helpline on 0808 802 1234 (Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm, for young people under 25).

Related topics: Contraception, Emergency Contraception, Sexual Health

If you're pregnant

If you are pregnant, you will need to make some hard decisions quickly. You need to decide whether to:

• Have the baby
• Put the baby up for adoption
• Terminate the pregnancy

In the UK it is illegal to terminate a pregnancy after 24 weeks, so you need to decide as soon as possible.

No one else can make the decision for you, but you should get advice and support. Your GP will talk things over with you, or refer you to another health practitioner. They can arrange for you to see a counsellor if that would help.

Action: Under 18? Worried you might be pregnant? You can call the Sexwise Helpline on 0800 28 29 30 for free, confidential advice (7am-midnight every day)

Experience: getting a pregnancy test

When I first thought I was pregnant I did a shop pregnancy test. It was negative so I didn’t worry. I did another 4 tests over the next few weeks and they were all negative. Eventually I told my mum about my suspicions and she told me that some people don’t produce enough hormones in early pregnancy to test positive. She took me to the doctor’s for a test that came back positive. It was a shock. I felt terrible for waiting so long which was made worse when my doctor told me that I could have had complications as I was rhesus negative. – age 17

Adoption

If you are married both partners must give consent for the baby to be adopted. If you are unmarried, the father can stop the adoption if he registers his child’s birth jointly with the mother. In this case he has the same rights as married fathers to have a say in his child's upbringing.

If you give your baby up for adoption you may feel bereaved. You may go through a period of having low self-esteem or feelings of guilt. It is tempting to keep these feelings secret but you need support from people who will listen. They can help you acknowledge the loss and grieve for your baby so that you can heal and move on. Advice and information about adoption is available from the JR Social Work Team and Social and Health Care.

Find out more: www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/adoption

Experience: putting your baby up for adoption

When I was 17 I met a boy a little older than me who used to come with me to babysit. I was going through this funny stage, do my parents love me, you know, those kinds of feelings, and this boy used to give me cuddles. I was so naive that I didn’t really know how to say no to him. I was 32 weeks pregnant before I knew it. I didn’t understand anything about sex. Adoption was a good option for me because it wasn’t a planned pregnancy.

All I wanted at the time was to speak to someone who had put a child up for adoption. A lot of people thought that what I was doing was wrong. It is hard enough to have a baby adopted without other people telling you that you are making the wrong decision. They thought I was being selfish, but I think it would have been more selfish to keep the baby. Hopefully, if she finds me some day, she will understand that I did what I felt was right for her. – Emma

Abortion

If an abortion is the best option for you, you need to get it arranged as quickly as possible. You must see two doctors before an abortion can be arranged. This is usually a doctor at the JR and your GP or family planning clinic doctor. If you are under 16, your parent/carer must usually be told and give their consent. If your GP is unsympathetic, you have the right to consult another GP.

• Key link: The British Pregnancy Advisory service

If you decide to terminate the pregnancy, you will be referred to the JR or Horton Hospital. If no beds are free, the NHS will pay for you to attend a private clinic such as Marie Stopes or British Pregnancy Advisory Service. You or your parents can also arrange to have the abortion done privately; you don't have to go through your GP.

• Key link: Marie Stopes

Your first visit will be for assessment and include an internal exam. You may have a scan to determine when you became pregnant. A health professional will talk to you about different methods of termination. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about anything.

It’s okay to change your mind at any stage of the process. You can ask to talk to a counsellor at any time. The important thing is to feel that you’ve made the right decision and to minimise the risk of regret afterwards.

Crucial: Appointments for an abortion often take 2 or 3 weeks to arrange so it may be worth making one even if you decide to cancel it later.

Keeping the Baby

If you decide to keep your baby, you need to get medical advice right away. Your health and your baby's health will need to be checked. The younger you are, the greater the risk of complications for yourself and your baby.

You also need to let your family and the father of your baby know, as well as all the people who will be helping care for you and your child.

• More about Having a baby

Crucial: Being pregnant qualifies you for lots of support and medical care (often called prenatal and postnatal care), all of which you will need. Your first step is to tell your GP (Doctor) as soon as possible. Find out more.

Key Resource: The I'm Going to Have a Baby! guide

The I'm Going to Have a Baby! guide is for young mothers and provides a step-by-step guide to support young mothers and the people who support them. There's also a guide especially for young fathers, called I'm going to have a baby too! They're full of useful contacts and information. Get a copy of the guide from your midwife, Connexions Adviser, Key Worker, or the Teenage Pregnancy and Sexual Health Team.