When is it legal?

Two of the biggest questions young people have about sex are:

• When is it OK?
• How do I know when I'm ready?

The age of consent (when you can legally have sex) is 16. This is the same for young men and young women, for gay couples and straight couples.

Crucial: If you're under 16, it's illegal to have sex, but you can still get advice about sexual health and contraception (and you should).

Am I ready?

Although it is legal to have sex when you are sixteen, most people wait until they are older. At least half of young people in the UK put off having sex until they are 17. But there is more than age to consider.

• Can you cope with the intense emotions?
• Are you ready to take responsibility for protecting your partner?
• Do you understand the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections?

Knowing about contraception and sexual health is very important, but just as important is knowing that you are ready to have sex. This can be difficult. You may feel pressured, or like you're being left behind. But it's OK to take your time and important to be sure.

Take action: Sign up for your Sexual Safety with the Safety Card and get good, trustworthy information about sex.

Ready for sex?

You won't be ready for sex until you can tick all these boxes. But even if you can, you still might not be ready. Only you can know for sure.

You feel you could say no if you wanted to
You can have fun together without anything sexual involved
You each want it for yourself, not to please the other person or fit in with what friends or other people think you should do
Nobody’s forcing you, pressuring you or making you
You have discussed using condoms and contraception, and talked about what might happen if you become pregnant or get a sexually transmitted infection
You have agreed what happens next, and whether or not to tell your friends afterwards.

Crucial: Remember that just because you've said yes to sex once, you can always say no the next time.

Get sorted, get sexy

Think you want to have sex? Sometimes the urge is very strong. But before you do, there are a bunch of things you need to get sorted out:

1. How are you going to protect against STIs?
   Sexually Transmitted Infections can cause pain, infection, infertility and death - but often people don't even know they have them. How can you protect yourself?
2. What are you going to use for contraception?
   People don't get pregnant every time they have sex, but it's possible to get pregnant any time you have sex, even if you're first time, even if your period's on, and even if the man pulls out (withdraws) before he comes. Before you go all the way, you need to know what contraception you're going to use.
3. What will you do if something goes wrong?
   Sometimes contraception fails, or things get out of control. You need to know what to do if your contraception fails, and you need to have a back up plan ready if anything goes wrong.

Remember, it's your body, and your decision, so things should only ever go as far as you want them to.

Take action: Find out about STIs, Contraception and Emergency Contraception.

Experience: reasons why people have sex when they don't really want to

Trying to cure loneliness or unhappiness ... because your partner asks you to prove you love them ... wanting to prove you're not gay or lesbian... mistaking sex for love ... getting back at someone ... not thinking straight because you're stoned or drunk ... - Young Women's Group, Banbury